During the past 12 years of
motivating and inspiring others I came across many who let it be known up
front, without any qualms, that they
didn’t buy into ‘psycho mumbo jumbo’…I
opted to say mumbo jumbo instead of actual words spoken for the cleanliness of
this article. I will admit, at the
green beginnings of my career as a Life Coach, I was clueless of how to respond
when the good news I wanted to share
was rejected by those who expressed desire for life changes. I learned, quickly, through trial and error
that a person will receive the good news
when they feel they are ready to. A
person can hate the way their life feels, while at the same time not be ready to
learn information that will transform their discomforts into experiences of
joy.
Why does this happen?
This interesting
reality happens for many individual reasons.
Psychologists, Sociologists, Philosophers, Economists, Theologians, friends,
enemies, you name it have a theory to explain why some people insist on
remaining in situations that makes them constantly complain about their lives
and the displeasure they feel.
Let me ask YOU. How would you explain this? (click
highlighted and underlined words in this sentence to answer question)
I have had
people ask if personal development is necessary. Their lives were overbooked with
responsibility. Completing steps towards
a better self in the future does not advertise large immediate payouts or much
needed money to afford financial obligations.
To those people, the idea of strengthening human attributes sound nice
but doesn’t make the top 10 of their priority list. Oftentimes, I have silently shaken my head at
the emptiness I felt because of lack of knowledge about how to reach them to
help.
Do I believe personal development is important? Yes, I do.
I always have and I suspect I always will. Is this the reason I was double promoted from
Head Start to 1st grade, graduated high school at 17 as Who’sWho Among American High School Students, and graduated from college
with a double major as a single mother with two young children? No, it was not the reason. I’ll explain.
I
was what some would call intelligent
as a child. I remember a day when my
parents used this against me. They
encouraged me to throw my bottle away because I was a big girl and big girls
didn’t use bottles. Big girls ate pizzapuffs, my favorite, and rode tricycles, they absolutely didn’t carry
bottles. Well if they did, they were
actually a baby, not a BIG GIRL. Oh how
I wished I didn’t listen to them at the end of the night. When I asked for my bottle, as I normally
did, I was reminded of when I tossed my juice filled bottle into the dumpster
near our duplex.
Shortly
after that incident, this BIG GIRL wanted to know how to read books and how to
write in cursive penmanship. My mom and
dad both wrote in cursive and it looked like some secret code that they understood and it was time for them to teach me. Momma had her own agendas that sometimes excluded
extensive training in the areas I wanted developed. I would take odd papers of theirs and trace
the letters with my pencil in effort to learn to cursive write on my own.
(My love
for pencils and writing led to a tragic experience that I will refrain from
sharing in this article.)
But,
shortly after accomplishing my goals of being able to read the books in my dark
orange Dr. Seuss bookcase on my dresser and being able to write the alphabet
and my first and last name in cursive letters I was double promoted. 1st grade was scary. I was the youngest in my class but still even
yet more advanced. This proposed quite a
few problems later on.
Years
later, I became a child who witnessed domestic violence for two years and familial
dysfunction for longer. Then, school was
my escape from the nightmare I lived.
The majority of my days and nights were spent dreaming about the life I
wished I was living and the one I intended to create when I was old
enough.
Once
graduating high school, I didn’t really know what to do. Momma wanted me
to stay home with her until I was 18, legal age in Arkansas. I declined her proposal and headed off to
college in a city four hours away.
My
college experience was noteworthy and I acknowledge the ups and downs that resulted
in me graduating seven years later as a single mother in my upcoming book. I will post details later. It wasn’t until I entered the flow of
society, educated and unable to secure suitable employment, when I realized the
importance of personal development. I
had pushed past every blockade and beat all odds in pursuit of childhood
goals. Now, I stood in the midst of
crunch-time without guidance or direction.
Previous
accomplishments did nothing for my car note and past due rent, nor did it stop
my obligation to pay back $66,000 for student loans. I got to the point of almost giving up before
realizing there were some things about me that needed to change if I truly
wanted to live a different experience.
I
first learned about love in its various forms through reading the King James Version
of the bible, articles, self-help books, fiction stories, and by listening to
the discussions of others. Eventually, I
embraced meditation and experienced its essence. I discovered love is the reason for all
things of itself and the lack of it explains everything else. Learning about love strengthened the
foundation of my faith.
Faith
is the driving force of any endeavor.
When we stand from our beds we do so in faith of gravity. Turing the knob of a faucet displays faith
that a flow of water will result. When
two people marry the idea is they have faith in the longevity of their
union. And when they divorce, two people
reveal their faith in legal freedom from the other. There are some couples who have married,
divorced, and then later developed valuable friendship between them. These people show faith in each other’s
presence.
Doubt
and fear were the next subjects I explored.
Doubt is belief in what is undesired.
Fear is anxiety about impeding danger.
The obvious thing about doubt is it is impossible to achieve or possess
anything you believe can’t be had. It’s
that simple. Faith is belief that you
can. Even though this is obvious, it is
a phenomenon that goes undetected by many human minds.
The unique
thing I learned about fear is the feared experience always exists in the
future. Even if the object feared is present
(visible), during the process of fear battle has not yet taken place. There are other more effective actions that
can be taken in lieu of fear. Anxiety is
a response to something that feels uncontrollable. Every choice a human makes is in the control
of that human. Realizing the fact that I
am in control of my own life empowered me beyond fear and anxiety. I was introduced to the tool of present living.
Living life
moment by moment is far more rewarding than living check to check or from one
sad experience to the next. I started
recognizing love in the interactions I engaged in; even unpleasant ones. Past memories are now learning modules that
contain a wealth of feedback and encouragement.
I am reminded
of how life once felt which makes me thankful for today. Each experience I have had reveals a step by
step manifestation of my innermost focuses.
Now I know how to set my focus
according to my desires which in turn produces the outcome of my heart. This is nothing new. Only, now
I am aware of how this all works.
The good
news is LIFE CAN BE ALL YOU DESIRE IT TO BE. If you believe this
and would like to be asked a series of questions designed to unveil the mystery
focus of your life click HERE. Input
your name and a quick message about what we can work on in your life. You deserve the very best life has to offer. The choice is YOURS to make. Start NOW on a journey of personal
development. As a friend I support your
quest and wish you success in developing a healthy whole self. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit.
Sincerely,
DeMeitta Wesley
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